Robert's Random Ravings

Why am I so fearful?

I find myself in a strange position lately. Many years ago, I set about to write a program in a language that I did not know. I immersed myself in books and tutorials and ended up being fairly expert at coding in VBA (Visual Basic For Applications) and then Visual Basic itself. So I know that I am able to learn new things and learn them well.

So why is it that I find myself afraid that I am no longer able to do this?

I have several projects in mind that I want to develop in a completely web based environment. It is different in many ways from the kind of programming I used to do professionally, but the concepts are not all that different. Yet I am almost frozen in apprehension. What if I can no longer pick up new things?

I wonder how many other people have had these kinds of feelings. My guess is that it is fairly common. Fear of the unknown, etc. Just because you have done something before is not a guarantee that you can do it again. On the other hand, the fact that you have should give you (and me) confidence in future abilities.

I am facing the same kind of situation with music. I play the keyboards and the guitar. I was a singer and songwriter as well. I have not really done anything musical in over 15 years. I have keyboards and guitars at home. I stare at them all the time. But again, I find myself afraid to pick them up and play. Why? I wish I had the answer for that.

I like to excel at everything I do and so it can be difficult to go through the awkward learning stage. I am sure that this is one of the underlying reasons. But I have been successful at both programming and music in the past. Why so much lack of confidence?


07/21/2009 Posted by | General | , , , , | 2 Comments